Written: July 26th, 2014
My Big Sister Daisy,
As I sit here on the plane on my way to a new future in Sweden, I can’t help but to think about all that I have left behind in Los Angeles. Leaving a successful career was tough and saying good bye to my dearest friends was heartbreaking, but the absolute hardest part about this whole thing has been leaving you. You who took such good care of me when I was eight years old while you were in the whirlwind of high school. At the tender age of fifteen you had to take on so much responsibility that should not have been placed on your shoulders, but you did and you did it with such grace and love. You have been my guiding light my entire life: my role model, mentor, voice of reason, parent, sister and friend. I am so thankful to have the luck to be your sister. And this move has made me feel so guilty for leaving you because you have been by my side my whole life. I never had to worry if I was alone because I always had you… And now I am leaving you. I feel like such a selfish terrible sister for all the sacrifices you have made so that I could have a chance at a wonderful life. What words could I use to thank you enough? There are no such words and no humanly possible way to express my deepest gratitude for all that you have done for me. I often am sadden by the state of our family, but then I realize that it doesn’t matter… You make up for all the pieces that I am missing. I would rather have you than anyone else. I will always need my big sister. You are the only other person that I love in this whole world. All I wish for you is happiness, good health (do some stairs), and love. You are still my role model and mentor, but mostly now you are my sister and my very best friend. My love for you is unconditional and no distance can break the sisterly bond we share. We are unbreakable.
I will miss and think of you every day.
Lilli
What a wonderful letter, Melissa.
Your sister is very lucky to have a sister like you.
missalovesyou
Thank you so much for your kind words Lilli! 🙂
Big Sis
Missa:
Thank you for this heartfelt letter. At this rate, I need to buy stock in Kleenex.
The aftermath of our parent’s divorce was certainly not conducive to a carefree childhood. One might say that we were both robbed. I had to become an adult at 15 to take care of you, and you became an 8-year-old “teenager” because you had to live the life that I was living since you were figuratively attached to me at the hip, otherwise, left with a sitter (which was no better).
Ironically, guilt existed on both sides. Whenever I didn’t have you with me and had to leave you with a sitter, I was riddled with intense guilt. But when I had to take you with me to my school events, outings, or even to your events, etc… then you felt guilt, as if you were a burden. We are like two halves of the same heart… we love each other so much, that sacrifice is inevitable.
So enough with the guilt! Don’t feel guilty for following your heart to find happiness for yourself, because you deserve it more than anyone I know. If I’ve made sacrifices so that you could “have a chance at a wonderful life,” don’t let my efforts be in vain.
You know my version of carpe diem… “Do what makes you happy.” Embrace life, love, and the pursuit of happiness, because I’ve always wanted the best for you. For all the influences you’ve given me credit for, the impact you have had on me, is profound… you’ve given me my purpose in life. To be here for you.
So whether you’re here, there, or on the moon, I am here for you. Always.
You are never alone.