20 Something Best Age for Long Distance Relationships
So I read this article today about a writer explaining how being in your 20’s is the best time to have a long distance relationship and I have to say that I agree with a lot of what she said in this article. Daniel and I were in a long distance relationship for almost a year before I decided to move to Sweden.
Maybe a back story is in order –
Daniel and I met in Los Angeles at Bar Marmont (next to Chateau Marmont) 4.5 years ago. He was there with some friends and I was one of the regulars. It was walking distance from my apartment in West Hollywood so the girls and I went there almost every weekend. It was our “Cheers”. Soon after we met, we were pretty much inseparable. He was on a work visa with his company so he said that his time in the states was unknown. I never thought much about it because I thought anyone that came to live in the US would stay in the US! Especially Los Angeles with the incredible weather, world class restaurants, non-stop entertainment and opportunity. So, when Daniel decided to make the move back to Sweden 3.5 years later, I was shocked. I was thriving in a new career, had just moved into a new apartment by the Hollywood Hills and was finally starting to feel settled when he hit me with this news.
I was so unsure of what to do. He had to go back to set up his life all over again since he had been away for so long. He had to secure a new job, somewhere to live and to get himself grounded in Sweden. This would mean that if we stayed in this relationship, we would have to do it long distance. I struggled with the decision to move to Sweden for a very long time. It was such a huge step and I didn’t want to make a mistake. Plus, I didn’t know if our relationship could handle the pressures of being long distance.
The first few months after he left was rough. I was so sad and felt so alone and lost. He occupied a lot of my mind space and life. Weekends were always spent together and now I was spending it alone or finding ways to fill it. I have an amazing group of friends that offered support, but it couldn’t replace what I was missing and that was him. Talking on phone apps, Skype and Facetime was all we could do and that was difficult with a 9 hour time difference between us. I had to channel my energy elsewhere or I would lose my mind. I went head deep into my work, worked on my relationships with friends, and had a regular workout routine at the gym. I also started doing more of the things I enjoyed like going to concerts, symphonies, restaurant openings, and other events around town. Slowly, but surely things started to change once I decided to spend a little bit of time focusing on myself. This time apart allowed me not have to worry about someone else. It was nice knowing that I have someone I love and that is always there for me, but I truly think it was a blessing that I had this time apart.
Of course I missed Daniel everyday and we had our ups and downs, but I wouldn’t be of any use in this relationship if I didn’t become stronger, more self confident and self reliant. A lot of people doubted that our relationship would last. Plenty of people told me that I should consider finding someone local, but I never wanted that, I always wanted Daniel. For me having this long distance relationship helped me grow as a person, but for a true relationship to grow I do believe you have to be physically with that person. Short term long distance relationships can definitely work because I am a product of that, but I couldn’t do this year after year. You can’t live fully or move forward when you are physically apart.
I am happy about my decision to move to Sweden. It has been the most frightening and most exciting decision I have made in my life. Knowing what I know now about myself, I feel confident that I can overcome any challenges I may face here… with the added bonus of having the love of my life right by my side.
